And what doesn’t get processed gets stored.

Grief. Rage. Fear. Helplessness.
Not expressed — just compacted.

Over time, it can feel almost solid inside the body. Dense in the chest. Tight in the belly. Hard to access.

I call the antidote to this phenomenon proxy cry.

A proxy cry happens when you can’t reach the tears directly connected to what you’ve been holding — so you borrow a doorway.

A film that cracks you open.
A poem that undoes you.
A song that suddenly floods your eyes.

The tears may seem out of proportion to the trigger.

They’re not.

They’re cumulative.

Your nervous system is wise. It looks for moments of safety to release what it couldn’t process in real time. When you allow yourself to fully cry — to shake, to curl inward, to soften — your body is completing stress cycles that were left unfinished.

This is not weakness.

This is regulation.

You might also sense, on a deep level, that your “body keeps the score” (Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D.). The emotional and spiritual challenges you meet—loss, heartbreak, stress, betrayal—don’t just pass through and disappear. They store themselves in your body. As fear. As anxiety. As trauma. This residue can come from many sources: karmic patterns, wounded inner child experiences, ancestral imprints. Over time, what begins as energetic imbalance eventually manifests in the physical body as pain, fatigue, or illness.

There is a quiet revolution happening inside so many humans—a call to return to what is ancient, intuitive, powerful, and true.

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Grief is a tricky bit*h, she comes from anywhere anytime. Grief needs to be personified, maybe even deified, she’s so darn powerful. You can’t outrun her (grief), but I do have two suggestions to move from grief to peace. Connection is the key to both methods. You can read more here…